Friday, May 6, 2011

A Dream...or was it?




I stand at the edge of an expansive field of wildflowers holding my son's chubby hand.
For a moment I question where we are and how I've arrived at this piece of unfamiliar land.
Across the peaceful divide my eye catches a slight movement through the emerald trees,
And there you appear, Mama...smiling and glowing with beauty while your hair blows in the breeze.

You drop to your knees without a minute to spare and fling your arms open wide,
And before I know it, my toddler runs as fast as he can until he reaches you on the other side.
You play hide-and-seek in the flowers while the butterflies float and the dragonflies dance,
Watching you spin him in circles and hearing the sounds of your laughter put me in a tearful trance.

Somehow I just know I'm not allowed to cross the gulf and happily join the two of you as you play,
Even though it saddens me deeply, our Heavenly reunion will just have to wait for another day.
For now it is enough to watch the one taken away hold the one for whom I'm so thankful I was given,
Birth and death and heartbreak and joy are full circle experiences that are all a part of living.

And just like that, my sweet baby rushes across the field back into my waiting embrace,
We wave and blow kisses to you long after you're gone with the warm sun shining on our face.
Even though we can't go to where you are now and you can't stay with us during our time here,
By God's glorious grace, I feel your loving presence and I know you're always near.

Happy Mother's Day, Mama!
I love you,
Melanie

Goodbye's The Saddest Word by Celine Dion (Lyrics)

Monday, April 11, 2011

Still THE ONE

"How do you know if a guy is "The One"? I asked my mom.
"You just know," she replied.
"But how?"
"When you meet him, you'll know it," she said.

I had a sneaky feeling she was pulling my leg. None of the relationships I knew seemed  like a fairy tale by any stretch. If anything, most couples I had any contact with wanted to get away from one another. Hadn't I heard my mom and her best friend, google-eyed from wine, toasting the day they wouldn't have to deal with their spouses? They said they couldn't wait to be fat and happy. True love and finding "The One" was a crock.

Then I met John.

(Yes, as cheesy as this may sound...the clouds parted, the sun shone and the angels sang. At least it felt that way to me.) It truly was a Romeo and Juliet moment. I looked over the balcony and down at my future. He looked up at me with the sweetest smile I'd ever seen. Love at first sight it was not but a voice within just told me something would happen with him down the road.

 When we met, I was having dinner and hanging out with his stepmom and dad...something I did quite often since I taught with De, John's Mom #2. From the moment De popped her head into my new classroom and introduced herself as a new teacher at the school, it seemed as if we had known each other forever...true soul sisters. She listened patiently to my dating dramas, gave great relationship advice and was quick to say I should meet her son. From what I understand, De and T, John's dad, were having the same conversations with John about me.

The night he saw my red convertible in the yard while dropping his sister, Lindsey, off after a dinner out was the night of the "balcony scene." It was totally innocent. We were both unavailable. But, Honey, there was a SPARK there.

Fast forward...a year later. De asked me if I would be interested in going out with John. He was single. I declined because at that moment, I was the President of the Man Hater's Club and in the middle of the long process of breaking up a three year relationship. I told De I would call her when I felt like going out.

Fast forward again...a few months. I decided one summer day that I would like to go to dinner at least with someone. I called De but remembered halfway through the answering machine message they were on their annual family beach trip. Oh well, I thought. I'll wait and call again some other time. A few hours later the phone rang. It was John. A coincidence? I THINK NOT!!! It was fate. The stars had aligned. ( He was on the family beach trip, too. No one even knew I had called.)

The rest is history. We started dating in July, engaged by March and married by October. Badda bing! Badda boom! Forget about it!

After about our third date, I knew he was "The One."

 Yes, Mama, you were right. I just knew.

 But let me share what I knew. I knew that I yearned to be with him every second. I knew that I wanted to be a better person because of him. I knew I would follow him to Mexico and sell Chicklets if he wanted to. (NEVER felt like that before.) I knew I loved him in a few months more than I'd ever loved another person. I knew I didn't want to play any games with him. But the real deal-sealer came AFTER we were already engaged.

He NEVER left my side when my mother was dying. He told his boss that he would have to fire him if he had a problem with his taking off work because he wasn't going to leave me. I KNEW that no matter what, for better or for worse, he would be there and he has.

He makes all my dreams come true and so much more. He is my best friend and true love...my one in a million, but that's another story.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A Pocket Guide From A-Z for Men About Women

This is a book idea I have. Obviously, it would start at the letter "A" and end with "Z." Most men have NO CLUE about women and our many complex layers. We are a total mystery...especially when it deals with the names of things...makeup, articles of clothing, hairstyles, etc. For example, a friend of mine told me about a time when she expressed to her boyfriend her reluctance about going out that night because her hair needed shampooing. He was totally serious with this response..."Can't you just put your hair up in buns or something?" "Buns?" Princess Leia, indeed!

This is just an excerpt and a rough draft with many edits and revisions ahead. I want your opinion, please. I decided to share this with you today in honor of "The Purple One" and his concert tonight! Prince is the master of being masculine with attention to feminine details!!!!






A-     Assumptions...We've all heard the old saying, "When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me." So true, so true. Gentlemen, please don't assume things in regards to women. Tell her what you're thinking. Ask her what she's thinking. Communicate with her. She will open up. One of my favorite cartoons goes something like this...a man and a woman in a car going somewhere. The bubble over her head says...I wonder why he's being so quiet. He's never this quiet. I bet he wants to break up with me. He probably hates my hair. Why did I get it cut? The bubble over his head says...What is that noise? I hope it's not the radiator. I really don't have the money to get it fixed. I guess I'll take it in tomorrow and have it looked at. Classic!
          Aesthetician- a worker skilled in giving beauty treatments such as manicures/pedicures, facials, waxing, etc.- DO NOT question a woman about her frequent trips to see her aesthetician!!!!!!!! The alternative would SCAR you for life. Hair removal and blackhead extraction is not for the faint of heart. Do you think she would choose this if it wasn't necessary? Money spent for these services is money well spent.
         Anthem- Girls like their "anthems." This would be any song that celebrates "Sister/Girl Power" which in layman's terms means a song about strong women conquering/surviving evil men and the bad relationships that ensue. I'm sure you guys don't fall under this category because hey, this is a book about knowing more about women. Some examples of our typical anthems are "I Will Survive," "We Are Family," "No Scrubs," "Irreplaceable," "Dancing Queen," etc. When you are faced with these songs at a wedding, night club or party, just stand back and enjoy the view! Girls dancing with girlfriends are way less self-conscious than when they're dancing with you.
         Adore by Prince- Sexiest song EVER! Even if you're not a Prince fan, this will create a mood. Dim the lights and ask her to dance. Try to stay with the beat. Guys, this is a test! In her mind this determines what sex will be like later. (Why do you think women go CRAZY over musicians? They keep perfect rhythm. And if they play an instrument...drums, sax, guitar...like nobody's business, guess what else they will give 100% to? Hahaha
   
B-     Bandeau- a band of material covering the breasts, as a strapless bikini top- Women love these bikini tops because they don't have strap marks when they tan. There is nothing tackier than a woman in a strapless dress with big, white strap marks.
         Barter- to trade goods or services without trading money- Women can be persuaded if the deal is sweet enough. For example, if you would like a back rub or something else, offer to do the dishes or something for her she doesn't like to do. It can be very lucrative for you and her, but a lot depends on how you approach things.
        Bob- a short haircut usually cut chin length in front and shorter in the back- You fellas LOVE some really long hair, but many of you fail to realize how much work long hair can be. A bob is a fresh, hip alternative to Crystal Gayle hair.
        By Your Side by Sade- SADE...do I need to say more?

C-     Compliments...Giving a woman a genuine compliment is always appreciated, but like anything else, too much of a good thing (except shoes) isn't a good thing. Being cheesy or saying something sleazy is NEVER cool. Simple is best. Take it from Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. Julia Roberts said, "You're late." He said, "You're stunning." She said, "You're forgiven." There you have it.
          Carnation- a white, pink or red flower- In other words, it's a CHEAP flower. Guys, don't even waste your money. It's something you buy out of a bucket from the student council on Valentine's Day in high school to put in someone's locker. This flower says to a woman...You don't rate very high in my book! Believe me, you don't have to spend a fortune on dozens of roses. A single rose, a bunch of tulips, or a vase of wildflowers you picked yourself will work. The presentation and the spirit of how you give them makes all the difference in the world. Just take my word for it. Carnations will not be well received by a large majority of women. Which leads to your next word!
          Cheap- being stingy- I know you're probably rolling your eyes and thinking to yourself...I am not made of money. Well, worry no more! I am not suggesting you roll out a fat wad of cash on every date. I am suggesting; however, that you refrain from being a cheapskate. If money is an issue, then you will have to be creative. (Nothing wrong with that!) Cheap is complaining at the movie ticket counter that you forgot your 2 for 1 coupon. (This actually happened to me.) Cheap is asking a girl to pay for dinner, movie or activity when you were the one to ask her out. Cheap is buying half a bike for someone's birthday. Yes, our former Governor is guilty of this among other things! Jenny, I would have whipped his ass with that "gift certificate"! Cheap is anything that makes a woman feel like she isn't valued.
          Couture- the business of designing, making and selling highly fashionable and usually custom-made clothing for women- Are you saying to yourself? I can just skip this one. My girlfriend/wife shops at Steinmart so why should I care. You should care because she cares. Most women can't afford couture, BUT they can copy the trends by browsing magazines and reading the tabloids. Kiss your Fashionista, wish her well and thank her for shopping at Steinmart. Then when you see that email confirmation that her order has been shipped from Saks, close your eyes, say a little prayer and forget about it!
          Cry to Me by Soloman Burke- Do you remember the Patrick Swayze/Jennifer Grey sex scene in "Dirty Dancing"? Well, there you go! This song is old but a classic! Hit the "play" button, grab that girl and slow jam!!!!!

D-      Discount- When a woman rushes through the door flushed, breathless and smiling, just know she's NOT having an affair...usually! She's just gotten "a deal" in the heavenly realm of shopping. Contrary to what you may believe, women LOVE to save money. In our minds, we think that by saving money with one purchase, it means we can spend it somewhere else. Sick and twisted, I know, but true! Where's the tip/guiding words, you ask? If your girlfriend/wife/girl friend gushes about saving a bundle on a handbag, pair of shoes, or article of clothing (and you know the checking account hasn't been overdrawn), give her eye contact (important), smile and say..."That's awesome! Will you model it?" I guarantee you a happy ending!!!!! Isn't that why you're reading this book?
          Distant- far apart in a relationship- Women tend to act distant with men for the following reasons...1. They aren't interested in you anymore. 2.  They are mad but instead of blurting out why, they want to punish you. 3. They are mad but don't have the energy to fight. 4. They are mad but want you to pull why they're mad out of them, little by little. (No woman wants to be labeled as a nagger.) 5. They are mad but don't really know how to address the problem...especially if this problem has to do with a family member, roommate, co-worker or friend. These are all filed under "touchy" subjects! She may be trying to spare you some grief. Bottom line:  Ask her what's wrong, but read her body language. You'll be able to tell by how she answers as to whether or not you should go any further.
          Doo- slang term for a woman's hairstyle- Her "doo" is top priority and to be taken seriously. Our hair stylists are like family except closer. These relationships are important and life-altering. Get to know a woman's hairdresser. It can't hurt. Sometimes they can help you look better. Unlike barbers that memorize what number razor you like, hairdressers look at the shape of your face, your hair type and body style. They can recommend a flattering cut and many times, fit you in at any time because color and highlights for women take hours from start to finish. While a client is under the dryer, this member-of-the-family/hair stylist can work on your "doo."
          "Deloris"- this is code word for something else that doesn't start with a "D"- If you haven't seen that Seinfeld episode, google it or watch it on Youtube. I'll just say this. The word rhymes with "Deloris" and is a part of a woman's anatomy. Get to know "Deloris." Read about her. Do some research. Get prepared. You will reap the benefits...ten-fold!
          Don't Make Me Wait for Love by Kenny G- Remember what I said about musicians? Even though Soundgarden might be your personal favorite, aquaint yourself with musicians such as Kenny G. Just the simple fact that you've gone out of your comfort zone will give you bonus points. Soundgarden is optimal to head bang to, but Kenny G will set the tone for romance. "Don't Make Me Wait for Love" won't disappoint. I promise.
                

     

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Potato Ear Caper

OK..OK...some of you have responded to my last post with not-so-nice comments about your spouses. And as I was running with my buddy the other morning, she was surprised to hear that my spouse and I do have spats. She said, "It is so good to hear this. I didn't think John and Melanie had fights." Well, my dear friends, we do, indeed, have arguments...not often...but when we do. That's why I've decided to share about a particular blowout we had during one of the most stressful times in our marriage, the infant stage of our son's life. Neither before or since have our fights been this dramatic, but it sure makes a damn good story.

John DID NOT help me at all during the infant stage of Miller's life. Period. He treated me like a queen and was the best dad otherwise. When I say "help", I mean feeding, changing, preparing bags and bottles, washing clothes, etc. He just never stepped up. I taught school full-time and did everything. Don't get me wrong. He wasn't just sitting around. We owned and operated a successful concrete curbing business that he ran like an ace. His work was never finished. After arriving at home late in the evenings, he usually burned the midnight oil doing payroll, filing taxes, writing estimates and bidding jobs. Our lives were wide open going 100 mph.

Needless to say, there was a mountain of resentment on my end and a mountain of resentment over my resentment on his.

Miller was finally at the "sleeping through most nights" stage and was asleep in his crib. John and I sat down to a late takeout dinner from our local diner. I actually don't remember what we started arguing over...money, sex, family...had to be one of the Big Three.  I do remember it escalated and we were yelling back and forth across the huge bar in our kitchen as we weren't seated at our dining table. He was seated on one side of the bar nearest our living room and I was seated on the other side in the middle of the kitchen. (Stay with me. This is relevant to the story.)

I also need to go back to my childhood before I can go forward with this. My parents had a rocky relationship...horrible, screaming fights that my sister and I grew up listening to. Other than that we had a wonderful childhood, but I made a vow that I would NEVER allow someone to treat me the same way or endure such a crazy, unstable relationship.

Now, back to our story...

I said something to John and whatever it was sent him into orbit. He had his fork in his hand at the time. With his eyes bugged out and the veins in his neck bulging, he yelled something at me and stabbed his fork violently down into the white, styrofoam takeout container. OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had flashbacks from childhood. My adrenaline skyrocketed to 5000. My ears buzzed and I saw stars. I CAME UNGLUED!

Simultaneously I let go a string of cuss words and swears to make any Marine blush while throwing my white, styrofoam takeout container across the bar and at his head! I hit my mark, too. Baked potato, salad and steak pieces went flying. Like a cat ready to pounce, I stretched myself across the bar with my finger shakily pointing and said...DON'T YOU EVER...EVER...DARE TREAT ME LIKE THAT AGAIN! @#%#@#$$^&^%%$#

With eyes wide from shock, John bent down and started cleaning up the mess. I still have this visual of him on his hands and knees scraping up bits of lettuce off the back of our sofa. Not a word was spoken for a few minutes.

Then...DING-DONG...the doorbell. (I am not lying.)

It was a dear family friend and my old Sunday school teacher keeping his appointment with us about a life insurance policy on Miller. What timing! We sat at the same bar where just minutes before all hell had broken loose. Mr. Paul spread out all the necessary paperwork and started explaining the policy we had chosen when I noticed. John was sitting across from me listening intently and asking questions with an ear FULL of baked potato. Whoops! I tried not to bust out laughing! I truly wondered if Mr. Paul saw it. Honestly, there was no way he couldn't have. It was THAT bad.

A half hour later John and I waved our guest goodbye arm-in-arm from our front porch. As we walked through the door of our happy home, I said, "You might want to remove the potato from your ear." He reached up to see if it was true and we both laughed so hard we had tears streaming. Our fight was over.

But, the tine marks from the fork were still in the formica and the memory of flying food kept us mindful! Never again have we treated each other quite that way.

I love that man...even with an earful of baked potato!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Because You Loved Me- Part II

It's been awhile since I've written. Yes, I know. But we moved and I've been trapped under a mountain of boxes. Anway, I'm back.

I am in the process of writing a long entry about my husband and how we met but as I thought more about it, I needed to post THIS entry after my last entry, "Because You Loved Me."  It is short and sweet with an emphasis on sweet!


My husband makes my dreams come true...literally! About five years ago a few weeks before our 10th anniversary, John walked into our bathroom where I was relaxing in the tub.

"I know we said we weren't going to do anything for one another on our anniversary since we're going to Colorado in January, but I couldn't let our 10th roll by without doing special something for you. You're my queen and best friend. I love you more than anything in the entire world." And he handed me a white envelope.

Tucked inside was a reservation confirmation to the Bellagio for 3 nights and two front row tickets to see Celine Dion in concert at Caesar's Palace. We were going to Vegas!!!! It goes without saying I cried a bucket of tears...tears of happiness for this priceless gift and tears of gratitude for being able to share my life with this man who not only knew the desires of my heart but found a way to make those desires a reality.

He said, "I was going to surprise you, but I know how you love getting ready for a trip almost as much as you like going on the trip." He was right, but unlike other trips, I felt this trip was another connection to my mom. He knew better than anyone how strongly I felt about seeing Celine in concert and specifically hearing her sing "Because You Loved Me."  I could barely wait. Something in my heart just knew that when I heard Celine sing it, the stars would align and the broken part inside me would be filled with peace.

After a horrible plane ride where we were separated and a spine-tingling taxi trip through rush hour traffic, we rolled up to the Bellagio. Any stress we may have felt was instantly erased when we walked through the doors of the Bellagio and into our room. We called it the "Fifty Yard Line" room because we were dead center for the fountain show taking place outside. Our bellman turned on the tv so we could hear the same music playing for the fountain show but from the privacy of our suite. Everything in these luxurious rooms were controlled by a panel of buttons. Could I live here permanently in this five star paradise?

Wonderful meals, cocktails, gambling, shopping, Cirque du Soleil "O", and a visit to a drive-thru wedding chapel where we renewed our vows kept us busy until the big night. Before I knew it, we were walking through the door at Caesar's Palace and into the theater they built just for Celine. I had to keep pinching myself. Was this really happening? The kind usher escorted us to our seats. I was beyond excited about being in the front row, but I wasn't prepared for truly how close we really would be. The stage itself bumped against my knees when we sat down. To my right...and I mean literally sitting by my right side... sat some of her featured musicians... picture the flute player for "My Heart Will Go On" and backup singers. WHAT?

The lights dimmed and the show started. It was magical. It was amazing. I had goosebumps. It was beyond my wildest dreams. "Because You Loved Me" was the second song she sang. (The video I added from my previous post could have been when I was there. Where her backup singer is to the right is where we were.) She was so close I could see her eyelashes. Tears poured like rain from my eyes...just another song for Celine but a life-altering moment for me. My crumpled heart unfolded and filled until it felt like it would burst! In the semi-darkness I looked over at my soulmate. He also had tears streaming. I felt his hand holding mine and the strength of our love for each other. The words to the song took on another meaning in that second.

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was
Loved by you.

I am everything I am because John loves me.


Monday, February 21, 2011

Because You Loved Me

I've wanted to write about this experience on this blog for a while now, but every time I had a spare moment or two, I put it off. Believe me, I have a million stories to share. It's just something about this one that is driving me to tell it yet I'm resisting. I recognize why...it's so painful. When your heart is slashed open, the grieving process is long and difficult. The tiny stitches of healing work their way across the wound ever so surely but ever so slowly. In the back closet of my mind, a part of me fears picking at those stitches. God must need me to share in order to help someone else because he will not let me off the hook.

It is good, Lord!

If my tears dry another person's tears,
If my pain mends another's heart,
If my hand that was turned away comforts someone down the road,
If the words of MY story bring others to you, Lord,
Then it is good.*

*I wrote this poem in my journal in July 2007 after reading a devotion my cousin sent me.

Well, here  it is...

The team of doctors treating my mom back in 1996 threw in the towel. They could do nothing more for her. The hospital administrators and her team decided she should be moved to the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston. Her health was rapidly deteriorating. This move gave us hope. Maybe a specialist there could help her. I pulled behind the ambulance as they readied her for transport. Struggling to breathe even with oxygen, she lifted herself up on the stretcher and scanned frantically for my familiar face. "I'm here, Mama. I won't leave you" are the words I spoke to the air. My dad and sister rushed home to pack a bag. I was to follow the ambulance since I lived nearby. Relief washed over her face when she saw me. Our eyes locked and she reclined on the stretcher.  Having been told we could not ride in the ambulance with her because of the liability, I waited numbly for my next instructions. After locking the back door tight, the ambulance driver leaned into my window and said, "We'll be traveling pretty fast with the lights on and we're supposed to tell you, we're not responsible for your traffic tickets."

And we were off. Like Scout Finch said in To Kill a Mockingbird..."Thus began our longest journey together."

(If you ever want to know what "helpless" and "fear" feel like, follow an ambulance with someone you love in it for two hours.)

After days and days of tests, my mom's new team of doctors still were unable to figure out what was causing her lungs to harden so quickly. The chronic illness she was diagnosed with a few months prior was suspect, but they were dumbfounded as to why. They needed to do a lung biopsy in order to find out but this was risky. She would be put on a ventilator during the procedure and the doctors told us it was a huge chance she wouldn't be able to be taken off  after the procedure because of the condition of her lungs. We held a family meeting in her hospital room. We all agreed this was her last hope and her only option. Little did we know then, there was no hope.

The doctors tried to prepare us for "the worst" and "the worst" indeed happened. She never breathed again without the ventilator. Our days became all about waiting for ten minutes until the next hour when the ICU allowed us to sit by her bed, stroke her hair and talk to her even though she was no longer able to talk to us. Or so we thought.

During one afternoon visit, my sister and I noticed tears streaming from her eyes as we talked to her. When we asked her nurse about this, she assured us that Mama was too drugged to be coherent and the water coming from her closed eyes must be a reaction to some eye lubricant they had administered. As the door shut behind her, Daf and I questioned her theory. The "water" coming out of her eyes would stop and start as we talked to her. Finally one of us...I don't remember who...asked her, "Mama, can you hear us?" Upon hearing this question, she raised her eyebrows furiously up and down.

"Are you in pain?"   No response.
"Are you sad?"  Eyebrows up and down
My sister and I shook our heads in disbelief. Then I knew what it was. Something just told me.
"Are you worried about us?" Eyebrows up and down over and over and over.
My precious mama was hooked up to a million tubes with a machine breathing for her yet she was worried about us. Now that I'm a mother, I GET IT!

Red, I understand now.

We kept asking her questions until our visit was over. Our hearts were breaking but we were so thankful for that time spent communicating with her. She seemed so far away even then.

The next day the doctors gave us "the talk." There was nothing more they could do. There was no cure. There was no hope. They would make her comfortable. To make matters worse, they still didn't really know what was happening. The only thing they DID know was she was dying. After hearing this, my dad looked at one of the doctors and asked, "When can we take her home?" I remember looking at him like he was an idiot. Take her home? Had he NOT heard what the doctors said? Now I know about the denial he was going through but at the time, it made me angry. He was supposed to take care of "things" and lead us on this path. At that moment, I knew I would have to take charge. Mama and I had briefly talked about this before her procedure but I hadn't wanted to deal with it so I hushed her. She told me that I was a "Steel Magnolia" and I would have to be the strong one. She also told me she wanted me to have, as a wedding present, the painting she had just finished a few months earlier of a magnolia. Oh, to go back to those precious moments. I would give anything.

That same afternoon after her grim prognosis during one of our visits, I noticed the TV in Mama's room being on. It had never been on before. Celine Dion's hit song/video, "Because You Loved Me," was playing. The significant nature of this song was NOT lost on me nor on my sister. (It took us at least a year before we could even talk about it together.) Sitting there on either side of Red, we cried buckets of tears while listening to this song.

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me.


How prophetic and true. I AM EVERYTHING I AM because she loved me.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

10 Random Products/Things I LOVE

This is a regular person's list (me) of "stuff" I love to do, ingest, use, etc. By no means do I consider myself an authority on anything. I simply wanted to share.

1.  Menchie's Frozen Yogurt- Where do I begin? I am currently obsessed with this wonderful place and their glorious products. On any given day they offer 12 or more different flavors such as angel food cake, coffee, red velvet, vanilla, chocolate, tart, seasonal fruits, cookies and cream, NY cheesecake, etc. You may sample ANY or ALL of these flavors for free. It's self-serve so you can fill your cup with as many flavors as you wish and as many toppings as you wish. Did I mention toppings? There is an entire bar...self-serve, again...with nothing but goodies and sauces to sprinkle over your yogurt. Anything your heart may desire in the topping realm is available.  My favorite of the moment is angel food cake/coffee swirl with almonds, granola, yogurt chips and fresh strawberries. My son loves chocolate with M&M's, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, granola, Heath Bar, fresh strawberries and chocolate sauce. YUM! Almost forgot...they weigh your cup of goodness to determine the price and believe me, it is cheap! Our family of three usually gets out of there for under $10. Now that's SWEET!


2.  L'Oreal's Double Extend Beauty Tube Mascara- I stumbled upon this drugstore find after using another tube mascara for years. As a result of insomnia one night, I signed up for and ordered Leeza Gibbon's makeup line, Sheer Cover. In my sleep deprived haze, I consented to having my credit card charged every three months for a year in order to have a full makeup kit dropped at my door. I hated everything in the kit EXCEPT the mascara. The mascara was the "new" tube technology where it goes around each lash like a tube and fortunately comes off while cleansing like one, too. When my year ended with Leeza, I surely cancelled my standing order, but I didn't know what to do about my favorite mascara. Off I went to Target to check out the scene. This is when I found L'Oreal's Double Extend Mascara! I love it. There are two steps involved. One end is the lash primer which goes on white. This step helps the mascara stick to your lashes and it helps in the removing process. The other end is the mascara. Try it. It will make a believer out of you. It's also CHEAP.  I would much rather pay $10 than $30 for something I'm supposed to replace every 3 months. That's $80 a year I can save which helps with my shoe obsession.




3.  Peace Love and Hip-Hop- This movement was created by my dear friend and inspiration, Angel Roberts. Her mission is to bring hip-hop dance to the masses. She has danced since she could walk, but she is also a certified fitness guru. This Wonder Woman/Queen of Cool has done it all or shall I say...does it all...hip-hop teacher to adults and kids, interior designer, stylist, Crossfit trainer, retail expert, etc. Her classes are THE BEST WORKOUT I HAVE EVER HAD. Yes, I know I'm yelling, but there is no other way to express my utter devotion. Angel offers classes Monday-Thursday in different venues around Charleston each night. She combines stretching, Crossfit exercises, a kick-ass hip-hop dance routine and yoga. If you've danced all your life or you've never danced at all, Angel breaks the steps down in manageable chunks while she teaches. It is life-altering good. The women there have become like sisters to me. We cheer each other on and pump one another up. There is definitely peace, love and hip-hop going on! I leave sweaty and tired but I leave grinning from ear-to-ear. For more information visit, http://www.peacelovehiphop.com/.

4.  Dr. Teal's Epsom Salt Soaking Solution-Sleep/Lavender-I think listing this product is pretty apropos after talking about hip-hop. Ha This 3 pound bag of goodness is just plain magic. After my workout, I retreat to a hot bath with these salts poured in. First of all, it smells just heavenly. The essential oil, lavender, has always been known for its relaxing qualities. Epsom salt is magnesium sulfate which is the second most adundant element in human cells. It is easily absorbed through the skin which makes soaking in it a great thing to do. Doctors and researchers suggest these health benefits from having the proper magnesium and sulfate levels:  improved heart and circulatory health, flushed toxins and metals from the cells, reduced inflammation to relieve muscle pain and serotonin levels are elevated by the magnesium which reduces stress. If all of that wasn't enough reason to use this wonderful stuff, the $5 price tag is. Sprinkle two cups in your bath and reap the benefits!



5.  OPI's Axxium Soak-Off Gel Lacquers- My manicurist, Carmen, tried to get me to let her use this product the last time I was in. I didn't know anything about it so I was skeptical. Then I open up one of my favorite magazines, Real Simple, and I read an article about great beauty ideas that save time and money. A gel manicure/pedicure was one of the featured items. The bottom line is your mani/pedi stays perfectly intact for up to 14 days. Ding! Ding! We have a winner. In my house, I wear many hats and the hat that messes with my beautifully manicured nails the most is the cleaning lady/cook hat. Scrubbing sinks, washing dishes and chopping vegetables isn't conducive sometimes to being a perfectly groomed diva...even though I try and pull it off! Running shoes also wreak havoc on my polished toes. As far as I'm concerned, this is a problem SOLVED!



6.  Boar's Head Roasted Chicken- I have been a fan of Boar's Head Cracked Pepper Turkey and Boar's Head Honey Maple Ham for many years. A sandwich made with one of these deli meats is a piece of heaven, BUT now my heart belongs to their roasted chicken. My favorite lunch lately has been a Mission jalapeno/cheddar tortilla wrap slathered with spicy roasted red pepper hummus. I sprinkle a large handful of arugula  and some diced avocado or some diced tomatoes or both on top. The Boar's Head Roasted Chicken goes on last. I roll up, slice and eat! The possibilities are endless with this wrap. It is smack-somebody delicious!

7. Fruit of the Earth Vitamin E Lotion- My sister-in-law, Lindsey turned me on to this product. The smell is fresh but not overpowering. The formula is not greasy but it conditions my dry winter skin just perfectly. Because it seems I am constantly slathering my snake-like scaly appendages and torso with lotion, the best thing about this product is the price. Walgreens and Wal-Mart carry it, but the Dollar General has the greatest deal. I get two 16 ounce bottles for $3.



8.  The Script- I LOVE all music! Many of you know this already. My first love is and always will be R&B! Let's just get that out of the way. :) But lately when I'm being a domestic goddess with a list of chores or when I'm sitting on my porch at Edisto with a cocktail, I've been playing The Script on my iPod. They are an Irish trio whose music has been described as "Celtic Soul." (No wonder I love it.) The lead singer's voice has that cool cat/smokes-a-cigarette raspy/sexy vibe. Their songs have a soulful groove that scream chill-axing. Their self-titled first album came out in March 2009. "Break Even" and  "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" are my favorites, but the other songs are beast! "Science and Faith," their second album was just released January 11th. "For the First Time" is a single from that album that I love. You will LOVE them. They aren't bad on the eyes either! Ha



9. The Butterfly's Daughter by Mary Alice Monroe- I could write an entire blog about my love for Mary Alice Monroe, but I will try to be brief. My sister was the first person to tell me about her awesome books. I am a nonfiction lover so reading her books was new territory. Let's just say, it changed my life. The Beach House and Swimming Lessons started me on a journey of loggerhead turtle volunteering and a journey of self-discovery. This summer will be my fourth summer doing this. I was lucky to meet Mary Alice a few years back...that is an INCREDIBLE story which I will save for another time...when she shared with me the title and storyline of her new book set to be released in May. The title and its connection to my story is wild enough, but to read an excerpt on Mary Alice's blog, freaked me out with all the similarities. An orange VW bug, four women on a journey, monarch butterflies and their migration, and a burial are just a few things I connect with so far...and it hasn't even been released yet! I can't tell you how excited I am!!!!!!!!! Another sign from God!!!!!!!

10. Water mixed with Northland Cranberry Juice/Lime wedge- My new favorite way to choke down my daily water! I've never liked the taste of water nor do I feel like it quenches my thirst. Since January like every other fool, I've been trying to make healthy choices with food and drink. I have even tried to cut out my one time a day soda fix and that's how I came up with this little jewel. Last year I read in my Whole Living magazine (Thanks, Annie!) how cranberry juice is a wonderful antioxidant, can help prevent stomach viruses...WAIT. STOP. I didn't need to read another thing. Vomiting is one thing I loathe and fear most!!!! Since Northland products are 100% juice with no sugar added, I felt like I was killing two birds with one stone.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Darth Vadar/VW commercial/Poem

The precious VW commercial with the minature Darth Vadar brought back so many memories...memories of Miller and his imagination. Mind you, he was never into Star Wars but he was definitely into Spiderman, Buzz Lightyear, Batman, Woody, etc. The way the little boy in the ad totally BELIEVES with his whole heart he IS Darth Vadar made me laugh and cry. That could have been Miller eight or nine years ago. Bittersweet.

The words, sights, smells and feelings come rushing back to this mom...

Miller walked up to me at the tender age of five in full Spiderman costume with every bit of seriousness and said, "Mom, I think I'm Peter Parker."
I asked, " Why do you say that?"
Without a smile, he said, "Because I've been sticking to things."
"Well, maybe you are," I told him. He slid against the wall to prove his point. I had to hide my face so he wouldn't see me cracking up. Priceless!

Now my boy is almost grown. I can't believe how fast the time has flown by. I cry about it sometimes because 18 years isn't long enough. I realize I will always be his mom, but the small window of time I have to be around him all day every day and experience life through his eyes is closing in. He is officially a preteen, actually only a few months away from being a full-fledged teenager. Just typing that made my stomach churn. Ugh! That boundless wonder and unending imagination isn't the current event anymore. It's still there, but I only catch glimpses of it. That wonder and imagination have been replaced with algebra, book reports, hanging with friends, sports and girl drama. His school assignments rarely bring out that wild-eyed enthusiasm where the creative juices flow so rapidly. It's no one's fault. It is what it is. Growing up does that to a person.

But...
Just when I think my "little" boy with the powerful imagination has vaporized into thin air forever and a "big" boy full of hormones with mush for brains is left, I see a small beam of light in the darkness of the movie theater. Onscreen Harry Potter, with arm extended and wand in hand, is putting a spell on some dark force. Beside me, my own Harry Potter is casting the same spell with his toy wand that he obviously had hidden in his jacket. We exchange no words. My heart smiles and I breathe a happy sigh of relief...for now.


My Son Has Always Seen Me

My son has always seen me
As Superwoman
Protecting him from the evils
Of monsters under the bed
And holding his hand when he has
A bad dream.

But he doesn not know
That I'm scared of the darkness
Freaking out about every weird sound
And waking up his dad to ask
"What was that?"

He will never know
That I check all the closets
And behind the shower curtain
For axe murderers and
Serial killers.

One day I will tell him
That I am only brave
When it comes to him
For him I would battle
Fire-breathing dragons and
An axe murderer or two
My love for him
Is stronger than anything.

*I wrote this poem as a model for my students long ago. It is based on a poem in a literature book I taught from. Getting students to write free verse poetry is easier if they have something to go by at first.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

My Life As a Playlist (The High School Years)

P.Y.T (Pretty Young Thing)                            Michael Jackson
Thriller                                                         Michael Jackson
Freakshow on the Dance Floor                      The Barkays                  
Swoop (I'm Yours)                                      Dazz Band
September                                                   Earth Wind and Fire
Truly                                                           Lionel Richie
Night Time is the Right Time                        Ray Charles
Burn Rubber                                               The Gap Band
I'm So Excited                                            The Pointer Sisters
You're the Inspiration                                  Chicago
We Are the World                                      Quincy Jones
Super Freak                                                Rick James
Purple Rain                                                 Prince
No Parking on the Dance Floor                    Midnight Star
Jungle Love                                                Morris Day and the Time
Mr. Telephone Man                                    New Edition
Jam On It                                                   Newcleus
She's a Bad Mama Jama                              Carl Carlton
Shackles on My Feet                                   RJ's Latest Arrival
Call Me                                                       Skyy
Greatest Love Affair                                    Jeffrey Osborne
Oh Sheila                                                    Ready for the World
867-5309                                                   Tommy Tutone
Time Warp                                                 The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Mony Mony                                               Billy Idol


P.Y.T (Pretty Young Thing) and Thriller- Asking me to choose a Michael Jackson song is like asking me to eat only one potato chip or french fry. It's cruel and inhuman...but I didn't want this entire playlist to be about the Michael Jackson "Thriller" album. Truthfully, it could be because I had it spinning constantly on my turntable for years. The "Thriller" video captivated our entire nation. My mom taped it on our VCR...remember those?  I vividly remember "moonwalking" and imitating the Gloved One's fancy footwork. Kids at school wore gloves in his honor right along with their parachute pants. I bought earrings from the mall to show my devotion. One earring was a diamelle stud (very classy) and the other...drumroll...a white glove covered in diamelles that dangled to my shoulder. Just call me a P.Y.T!

Freakshow On the Dance Floor- My first boyfriend in high school was four years older than me. My parents loved him but in their infinite wisdom, they refused to let me go out on actual dates with him or anyone for that matter until I was 15. At the time of our "romance" I was a young 14. He was allowed to come over to hang out at our house plus he was able to drive me home from our community ballfield. BIG WHOOP! It was 500 yards from my driveway. Anyhoo...he asked me to the Barkay's concert, but of course, I couldn't go. He bought me a t-shirt. As the saying goes... My boyfriend went to the Barkay's concert and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

Swoop (I'm Yours)- An older friend whom I danced with had her rich daddy wrapped around her finger. She received a gold (with glittery sparkled paint) 280-ZX as a present after recovering from spinal meningitis. Another friend and I would cram in the narrow passenger's seat while she spun us around the block. We'd go to the drugstore for real cherry Cokes or to Burger King for our lunch break during dance rehearsals. One awesome night she drove us to Quincy's Steakhouse, the finest eating establishment in our town, for dinner. What bliss! This song played that night over and over. I kept hitting the "rewind" button. Believe me, I knew I was in high cotton when the built-in tape player chimed like a bell while our song was rewinding.

September- Earth Wind and Fire is my ABSOLUTE favorite band ever!  I have seen them in concert more times than I can count. I love every song they sing, but in particular "September" has special meaning. When I think of this song, there is a connecting and mingling of many nights or shall I say early mornings. My sister and I weren't allowed to receive phone calls after 9:30 p.m. Normally at this time I would be upstairs in my room reading or listening to my stereo. Of course, being a typical teenager, I wasn't going to let rules get in the way of my social life! I instructed my boyfriend to call at 10:30 p.m. What? How, do you ask, was I able to do this? Simple. My parents usually went to bed at 10 o'clock on the dot. Giving them a few minutes to drift off was the first part of my game plan. At 10:20 I would pick up the phone and call "Dial A Prayer." This was a local number where at any time day or night a person could hear a prerecorded devotion and prayer. Often I would listen to this devotion 2 or 3 times before I heard the magical "beep" of call waiting. I clicked over and talked away to my heart's content but only after I dragged my beanbag and the phone into my walk-in closet. My stereo provided the low background noise my parents were accustomed to. Perfect scam!

Truly- What teenage girl in the 80's didn't listen to Lionel Richie and cry her eyeballs out? My best friends and I would pile into our sleeping bags in the middle of someone's den, listen to this song and shed tears over our crush of the moment. The tears REALLY flow if you've just been to a high school dance where you watched the love of your life dance with another girl. Oh, the anguish and sorrow! We talked into the wee hours, always reassuring one another that those "other girls" were nothing but trash.

Night Time is the Right Time- I realize this song was released way before I was born. That small detail is insignificant. All I have to type is three little words and it will all come rushing back..."The Cosby Show." Yep, you know the episode! The wedding anniversary song for Cliff's parents with the family lip-syncing and dancing. Tiny Rudy was the secret weapon singing..."Baby, baby!" Best show ever!

Burn Rubber- The upstairs of my childhood home only had three rooms and a landing. One of these rooms belonged to me and the other to my sister with the landing in the middle. Down a narrow hall was our minute bathroom where I used to drag my younger sister and scare the pee out of her, but that is another story for another time. Picture this sister sitting on her bed looking into my room across the hall. I hit "play" on my stereo and the only sound heard was a motorcycle revving up at the beginning of the song. Daf would hold onto the pretend handlebars, crank the gas and as the motorcycle in the song took off so would she like a streak of lightning across the hall into my room. I can't tell you how many times we did this all the while laughing hysterically.

I'm So Excited- Who could forget Christie Brinkley driving that red Ferrari beside Chevy Chase in the family truckster? This movie and the song above makes me smile. Not only was I seeing a rated "R" movie ( I wasn't 17.) but I was sitting with a huge group of friends and more importantly, the hottest guys in our small town.

You're the Inspiration- Remember the curtain-pulling guy from my first playlist post? This song hummed in the background while we talked and fought and played mind games with each other in "The Parking Lot." This parking lot was the main place to cruise around, park, talk and act foolish. We drove around and around and around...two lanes of pure teenage heaven. It was a place to see and be seen. Even though the Curtain Puller and I never truly had a serious relationship, we stayed in close contact until I graduated college.

We Are the World- This song reminds me of spring chorus concerts, sitting outside on warm days at lunch, selling snacks in the canteen, rolling down car windows to leave school and making plans for the weekend. If anyone would like me to imitate Bob Dylan and his part in the song, please contact my agent.

Super Freak- When my photo albums come out of storage, I will scan this particular picture to illustrate perfectly what this song means to me. Three friends and I danced to this in our school talent competition which by the way, we won second place. We tap danced in leotards and tights with ENORMOUS white, curly wigs. Super Freaks we were! I cannot believe we did it and in front of the entire student body.

Purple Rain- I thought for sure Prince would win an Oscar for his work in this film of such merit and depth. Hahaha At the end of the movie I was sobbing with my hands in the air swaying. My life was forever changed. I bought the cassette. I searched far and wide for a raspberry beret. I wanted to be Apollonia. End of discussion.

No Parking, Jungle Love and Mr. Telephone Man- My sweet boyfriend took me to the Carefree Curl Summerfest where Midnight Star, Morris Day and I think, New Edition played. (I did see them all in concert but I'm having a hard time remembering if New Edition was with the others or if they had their own show.) Picture a huge wicker fan chair in front of a tropical backdrop and hundreds of couples in cocktail attire having their photographs professionally taken. Also picture fake roses complete with light kits being sold by the thousands. Then breathe in deeply the scent of "weed" wafting from the rafters the minute the lights went out. Listen to "Slow Jam" by Midnight Star as fake roses sway back and forth in the darkness. See New Edition in full length cloaks descend from the ceiling onto the stage. It is burned in my memory.

Jam On It- This song played constantly during an entire summer at our community ballfield. Church softball was supposed to be the main event. Sadly it wasn't for us. The main attraction was the parking lot of said ballfield where all the teenagers gathered. We congregated to drink beer and be social. Many relationships started there and ended there. Many practical jokes were played there. Many friendships strengthened there. My mom would ask..."Who won?" and I seriously had to hold my lips together on more than one occasion when I almost answered..."Won what?" Whoops!

She's a Bad Mama Jama, Shackles and Call Me- These songs remind me of my best friend from high school. She would drive us around in her mom's navy blue Celica GT during lazy summer days. We'd hit the Zesto, a drive-in paradise known for their burgers and banana splits. Next we would cruise around looking for boys and we knew just where to find them. One house in our town was the hangout for a huge group of baseball-playing hotties. (I mentioned them earlier with the Pointer Sisters.) Two brothers lived there...one being my first boyfriend...but at any given time, there would be 10 to 15 guys lounging on the porch, sitting on their cars or throwing the baseball in the field across the street. My bestie and I would stop the car around the corner, rewind to our favorite songs and cruise by at 10 miles per hour with the woofers thumping. Usually we wouldn't stop but instead we'd give the half-wave...cool and mysterious!

Greatest Love Affair- Here we go again! Curtain-puller guy! This was our unofficial but official song. We did actually go out on dates. We had a great friendship. We had so much fun together. We exchanged Christmas presents. The only problem was when I was in love with him, he wasn't in love with me. Then when he loved me, I wasn't loving him. However, we did share something innocent and special and wonderful. It was the greatest love affair of them all.

Oh Sheila- I worked in my high school canteen at lunch. To get to our canteen, students had to walk outside and up to a large counter with a garage door that we rolled up to sell things and rolled down to lock  up between lunches. I worked with a close guy friend and one of my best friends since kindergarten.  My girlfriend's mom made a ham and cheese sandwich for her every day. She split it with me without even blinking an eye. My mom worked an hour away and left home early. If I wanted a sandwich, I had to make it. Needless to say, I never did. It felt great to be "taken care of." I won't ever forget that.

867-5409- Who didn't want to change their number and be Jenny? Well, we didn't know what "for a good time call" meant. During those crazy half-days at the end of the school year, a huge group of us would party at the lake. One of the guys in our tight-knit gang lived on the lake and owned a boat. We sunbathed on his dock, water-skied behind the boat and grilled hamburgers on his patio. We were loving life and all it's possibilities.

Time Warp and Mony Mony- This is a two part story. A friend of mine and her older brother turned me on to Midnight Movies and "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." A movie where you were not only allowed but were actually encouraged to throw toast, shoot waterguns, dance and scream profanities sounded like heaven to me. And it was! I was totally hooked! Alas, another plot started taking shape. I could use the Midnight Movies as a ploy to stay out until 3 o'clock in the morning. (My regular curfew as a senior was 12:00.) My two besties and I talked over our plan. Some older college guys we knew from our area were throwing a big party and invited us. We decided to tell our parents we were going to see "TRHPS" at midnight and come home immediately after. Right! My mom even helped us pack our supplies for the movie. Oh, the lies! Try to visualize three innocent girls in the middle of Animal House and you've just about got it. We couldn't believe our good fortune...a COLLEGE PARTY WITH COLLEGE GUYS! I won't go into detail what happened because it isn't for the weak of heart. I will share; however,  how we stood on the coffee table and screamed "new" words to the tune of "Mony Mony" with the rest of the drunk college coeds. We couldn't wait to graduate.







                                     

                           

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I Was A Charlie's Angel



We made our high-rise apartments
From trees and areas
Lined with rocks.
In our minds they were
Made of glass and chrome
The rage of the 70's.

I was always Kelly
With the long, dark hair
Making fingernails out of
Mama's Scotch tape
Because I bit my own.

My cousins and I
Fought every criminal
From coast to coast
Without ever breaking a nail
Or messing up our feathered hair.

I realize now that this time
In my young life
Helped me become the strong
And independent woman I am
Who relies on myself.

Monday, January 24, 2011

For My Favorite Daffodil

For my baby sister, Daf
Who believed in me,
Even when I was not yet old enough to believe in myself.
From the Pal's Playhouse,
To the wagon that was supposed to carry blocks.
She looked at me
With loving eyes.

For my younger sister, Daf
Who protected me,
Even though I was the older one.
From the mouse,
To Mama's wrath and Daddy's hand.
She cried when
I was spanked.

For my adolescent sister, Daf
Who doctored my wounds and seemed to understand
Even though I really didn't.
The pain of a first love,
And the emptiness that is left.
She crawled in my single bed beside me,
And held my hand while I cried.

For my teenage sister, Daf
Who told me the truth about myself,
Even when the truth was ugly.
From the night Daddy was out looking for me,
To telling me the hard facts about my boyfriend.
Her disappointment in me
Hurt more than the punishment.
She changed me for the better.

For my adult sister, Daf
Who stands beside me through good and bad,
From the funeral to the weddings,
To the births and everything in between.
Even when our hearts burst with emotion,
She calms me,
And I know I am not alone.

February 2004



There aren't many certain things in life. (Believe me, I've learned this the hard way.) But one thing I am definitely certain of is the relationship I have with my sister, Daphne or Daf as I call her. I'm not a betting woman as far as life goes as I mentioned above, but I would be willing to wager our relationship against any other sister pair in the world. We are that close. I am also being totally honest when I say that I would give her a kidney, stand between her and an ax murderer, give her the best piece of fried chicken on the platter...the pulley bone (I used to.), do her chores (Did that, too.), walk ten miles in the snow barefooted if she needed medicine, etc. Get my drift?

We are very different yet we're exactly the same. Doesn't make sense, huh? But to family and friends, this statement makes perfect sense. I worry, plan, organize and agonize over every decision. She never worries, flies by the seat of her pants and takes life as it comes. She inspires me to let go and I inspire her to care about details. We both love art, dance, music, family, friends, shopping, laughing, talking, reading and being together. We hate small-minded people, unnecessary drama, a good deal with no money to spend, bad haircuts, liars, and a messy house. She is a natural athlete (played Little League before girls were really allowed) while I can't catch, throw or hit a ball. I ride my bike everywhere and she is like a duck out of water on one. We both sing, dance and play the piano but music turned out to be her true talent as dance became mine. Neither one of us EVER meets a stranger and did I mention we are LOUD? We both laugh and talk with our entire bodies. No lack of drama here nor do we lack a list of topics to cover. People usually stop and stare if we happen to be in public because normally we are laughing so hard the tears are flowing. We are a spectacle...albeit a fun one! What in this world would I do without her? Answer: I wouldn't be me.

There is no possible way to share the millions of memories we have made over the years, but I plan to try and hit the highlights on this blog...not all at once. (She is one of the reasons I started it in the first place.) To name a few without going into too much detail, there is the time she drove the lawnmower up a tree with me on the back, a coveted sweatshirt and my big toe, a certain incident involving a boy, my dad and a large stick, an exciting visit to my college where at 14 she entered a nightclub...the list goes on and on. Whether the memories are good or bad isn't the point. The point is we shared them together and we still do.

My mom sat me down at the age of 3 1/2 to explain what it meant to have a little sister. She said that the baby she carried would be MY baby to love and watch over. I took her words to heart. Daf has always been mine. I have loved and watched over her for the past 38 years. Until I breathe my last breath, I will continue to do so and will look forward to our next adventures.

I love you, Nettie!
OXOX, Celie

Friday, January 21, 2011

For Susan


She wandered around with one shoe off
And one shoe on.
Confused, hurt and scared
From her world having been turned
Upside down.
She was crippled and bent over
Walking through life with a limp
And a broken heart.

Until she met you
Who lifted her up by putting
Your arm around her shoulders.
Teaching her to walk differently
There with you she felt safe and warm
With the sun shining on her face.
She was healing and growing.

Then the day came when
She became strong enough
To leave that old shoe behind.
Kicking it off and running at life
With outstretched arms.
It was time for goodbye
For you had taught her well
And she was free.

Melanie Hamilton
January 2008





I wrote this for a woman who helped me through a rough patch. She encouraged me to uncover the many layers of myself to find my true essence again. It was like putting a scattered puzzle back together piece by piece. Separately some pieces were lovely while other pieces were not, but each was important to the whole. When it was all said and done, the puzzle formed a picture...my life's picture.

How do you thank someone who saves your life? I wish I knew. Words on paper don't seem like enough, but it is what I had...along with my tears of gratitude.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.
That saved a wretch, like me.
I once was lost but now I'm found.
Was blind but now I see.

John Newton


In May 1996, my mom passed away. Her body could no longer sustain her in this life so her soul escaped to a new life in Heaven. My sister, father and I were left with a gaping hole in our hearts...a void so large, it was hard to breathe, much less plan a wedding. Which was exactly what we were doing when the doctors told us there was no hope of her getting well. After her death, life marched on. The sun kept rising and setting. The world continued to turn, but I was lost.

During the five month stretch to my wedding in October, "change" should have been my middle name. I grieved the loss of my mother. I moved to Charleston away from my family. I accepted a new teaching job. I started a new life with John. Whew!  To make matters worse, I recieved word from home about Daddy. He was also lost and needed me.

Because of this, John and I decided a few weeks before the wedding to move back home. So I resigned from my job, packed up my apartment, and finalized the details of my "big" day. I have NEVER felt more alone.

The Thursday before the wedding, John and I loaded everything we owned into a U-Haul. He needed to run a few errands so we decided to meet in Summerville for lunch before heading down the interstate. As I pulled out of the apartment complex with fresh tears streaming down my face, I realized I wouldn't have another time to buy wrapping paper for my bridesmaids' gifts. What a trivial thing to think of in the midst of a life-altering moment!

Party City happened to be across the street so I pulled in. After deciding on the paper and ribbon, I made my way to the checkout. Standing there waiting for the long line of people ahead of me to make their purchases, I thought about how I looked and felt like a homeless person instead of the glowing bride I was supposed to be. I just wanted it all to be over. I was excited to be marrying John because he was my true love and soulmate, but I was NOT excited about facing the day without my mom.

As my mind jumped back to the present moment, I realized I was the only customer left in the front of the store. The cashier scanned my items and asked how I was doing. I replied, "I'm fine." But in my mind, I was thinking..."I am so lost." She looked me directly in the eyes and said, "You're getting married, aren't you?" Believe me, my baseball cap, sweatshirt and jeans weren't giving her any clues. I stammered, "Yes, I am." She said, "God told me you were." Having said that, she walked around the cash register and grabbed me. While giving me a huge hug, she whispered, "He said you needed this. He also told me to tell you everything is going to be all right. He told me to tell you she is all right."

I was lost but in that moment, I was found.

From those precious seconds with God's messenger, I found peace. From the kisses of a butterfly after the ceremony, I saw a sign of God's presence. My eyes were opened and I would never be the same.

God's grace is amazing, especially to a sinner like me. I have been lost and I have been blind, but what matters most is He found me and now I see.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Silent Reflection

Butterfly, you always appear...
Not a coincidence but
A sign.
A sign of God's presence.
Reminding me that I'm not
Alone.
But a part of a greater whole
Soulfully connected
Like the delicate pattern of
Your intricate wings.

Melanie Hamilton

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour #10

My Life as a Playlist (The Early Years-Junior High)

Music is a huge part of who I am. It is totally just as necessary to my well-being as food to eat and air to breathe. I am physically and emotionally affected by it. If Earth, Wind & Fire is playing, my friends and family will tell you, my body is NOT still. Upon hearing an old favorite unexpectedly while driving, I have been known to pull over, beat on the steering wheel and sing at the top of my lungs. Old boyfriends may tell that I would get smoke-coming-out-of-the-ears mad if they turned down the radio to say something if an awesome song was on...

"Compliment what she does. Send her roses, just because. If it's violins she loves, let them play. Dedicate her favorite song and hold her closer, all night long. Love her today. Find one hundred ways."

Ohhh, James (Ingram), you had it going on. Whatever that poor boyfriend had to say was NOT as important as what Mr. James Ingram was trying to tell him. Shut up and listen! It may come in handy.

Anyway, music is a religious experience for me. Picture hands in the air with my head going back and forth....eyes closed...tears streaming down depending on the song. I LOVE music! When I hear a song from my past, a video plays in my mind of a specific memory complete with what I was wearing, whom I was with, where we were and what we were doing. The images are vivid and colorful. From the memory I usually can figure out the year the song was out. Dateline NBC had an ongoing clip they used as a filler for the program where they played a song and the viewers were supposed to guess the year it was popular. My husband was amazed at how I guessed correctly every time.

Song lyrics are no different. I may forget the milk on my grocery list of three items, but I won't forget any words to "Double Dutch Bus" even the gibberish at the end. Only true lovers of this song will know what I'm talking about. Enough about that...

I've always wanted to write a book about my life, a memoir, I guess, using a playlist as the format. I would use the music to tell stories from my past and present...little snippets...not too long and not too short. The only problem is editing the list of music because it goes on and on. For this blog, I thought I would narrow down the choices to 25 songs per playlist and combine the years of my life into sections. I hope you enjoy!


1. Listen to What the Man Said                                           Paul McCartney/Wings
2. I Got You Babe                                                                   Sonny and Cher
3. Afternoon Delight                                                             Starland Vocal Band
4. If                                                                                            Bread
5. Knock Three Times                                                          Tony Orlando and Dawn
6. Escape (Pina Colada Song)                                            Rupert Holmes
7. Shine a Little Love                                                           Electric Light Orchestra
8. Dream Weaver                                                                   Gary Wright
9. Don't Go Breaking My Heart                                        Elton John/Kiki Dee
10.Magic                                                                                 Pilot
11.Biggest Part of Me                                                          Ambrosia
12.Same Old Lang Syne                                                     Dan Fogelberg
13.The Hustle                                                                      Van McCoy
14.Mr. Jaws                                                                           Dick Goodman
15.Ain't Gonna Bump No More No Big Fat Woman        Joe Tex
16.You Should Be Dancing                                                 Bee Gees
17.Funkytown                                                                      Lipps, Inc.
18.Y.M.C.A.                                                                         Village People
19.If I Can't Have You                                                       Yvonne Elliman
20.More Than a Woman                                                    Tavares
21.Shake Your Booty                                                         K.C. and the Sunshine Band
22.Walk Away                                                                     Donna Summer
23.'65 Love Affair                                                               Paul Davis
24.Xanadu                                                                            Olivia Newton-John
25.Another One Bites the Dust                                        Queen

1.Listen to What the Man Says- My mom, my sister and I are in the car with the windows rolled down. (yes, I said rolled because that's what you had to do.) It is the middle of summer and we're driving to my grandparent's lake house in the next town over to spend a glorious week. We are loaded down with provisions...baloney, Wonderbread, hoop cheese (sliced), peanut butter, grape jelly, hot dogs, hot dog buns, Coke in glass bottles, Coppertone Suntan Lotion and a bar of Ivory soap (because it floats and we bathed in the lake).

2. I Got You Babe- One of my favorite television shows to watch on one of the four channels we could get was The Sonny and Cher Show.. Sonny at the piano and Cher in a low-cut halter gown by his side! I dreamed of having her long hair and dragon-lady fingernails. My hair was chopped off in a Dorothy Hamil cut, layer after layer of one inch sections. I vowed to never let my mother talk me into a short haircut again! And to show how serious I was, I watched The Sonny and Cher show every week with a towel on my head to represent my future long, flowing locks and Scotch tape on my bitten fingernails.

3.Afternoon Delight- This song was playing when we drove our brand new, orange Volkswagon Bug through the showroom sliding doors and out into the world! I was in the "hole" behind the backseat where I gazed out the window in awe. In my mind at six years old, we had to be rich!

4.If- My awesome dance teacher, being the true hippie she was, played this song during our summer ballet lessons. Doing our barre work to Bread made these exercises seem more important and dramatic. I'm sure I shed a few tears.

5.Knock Three Times- Do any of you remember The Tony Orlando and Dawn Show? My dream was to sing backup with Dawn (two women) in a chiffon dress with big hair.

6.Escape (The Pina Colada Song)- For Christmas I received the K-Tel album featuring all the Number 1's from that year. I would snuggle down in my orange beanbag, don my massive headphones and listen to this song on my stereo, all the while thinking about "making love at midnight on the dunes of the Cape." Scandalous!

7.Shine a Little Love- My piano teacher had an entire bookshelf in her house dedicated to her eight track tape collection. I would stand in front of this shelf before and after my lesson drooling. I thought I was hallucinating the day she said, "You can borrow any of those you want. Just bring them back next week." The clouds parted, the angels wept...was she serious? Bring the smelling salts! With a shaking hand, I selected All Over the World  by Electric Light Orchestra. The picture on the front was a U.F.O. looking-spherical object with jukebox details. I ran to my house before she could change her mind. That tape never left my yellow player for a week.

8.Dream Weaver- Back in the 70's we rarely turned on our air-conditioner. Every window in the house was up and the wooden doors wide open. Being in the buggy South, we had screened doors and windows. Our favorite thing to do on a summer night as a family was go out on our side porch and swing. Our porch swing could easily fit the entire clan. We would sit in the darkness with the stereo playing. I remember when this song was played for the first time on the radio because I was looking at the stars and listening to the cool, outer space sound effects in the song. It made me wonder about aliens on another planet doing the same thing as I was doing.

9.Don't Go Breaking My Heart- Who can forget the TV show "One Day at a Time" starring MacKenzie Phillips and Valerie Bertinelli? Barbara and Julie, their characters on the show, lipsynced this song complete with feather boa, white piano and jeweled sunglasses. I knew I would never be the same.

10. Magic- During our yearly family trip to Myrtle Beach, a night at the amusement park was in order. "Do you wanna go faster?" blared over the loud speaker as the Himalaya rattled around the track at speeds of 100 miles per hour. The good-looking teenage boys working the ride would jump on and off the individual cars as we, my cousins and I, screamed with delight.

11.Biggest Part of Me- I see my mother painting a pair of my denim bellbottoms and a t-shirt to match. The stereo, of course, was playing in the background. She asked what I wanted on them besides flowers. I said, "red mushrooms with white polka-dots." And that's just what I got!

12.Same Old Lang Syne- I wanted to marry Dan Fogelberg. His hair made perfect wings on each side of his middle part. I shed a tear for his old lover in the grocery store, but I was secretly happy because without her, he could be mine.

13.The Hustle- My parents took disco lessons. Yes, you read it right. I have to say they rocked it, too. For my birthday slumber party, my parents entertained my crew of best friends. The light-up disco ball was spinning and the music was pumping as my mom and dad twirled around the den. The "oohs" and "aahs" of my friends filled my heart with pride. After their glowing number, they taught us the Hustle and we all joined in.

14.Mr. Jaws- I got this 45 record in my Easter basket. We recorded it on my tape player by playing the record and taping it live. All people and pets were threatened with a horrible death if  they uttered a sound while recording. This made our favorite song of the moment portable. Mr. Jaws inspired my cousins and I to make our own mixes of song clips and interview questions.

15.Ain't Gonna Bump No More No Big Fat Woman- I literally had black and blue bruises on both my hip bones from doing the bump. Unlike now, I was skin and bones. To make matters worse, many of my dance partners (cousins, mom, sister, friends) were also skinny as rails. When our hip would collide during this epic dance move, the end result was injured body parts. No pain, no gain!

16.You Should Be Dancing- John Travolta...white leisure suit...need I say more? I wasn't allowed to see the movie, but you can bet your sweet booty, I had the album. By the end of the Saturday Night Fever craze, it was scratched and the cover was in shreds.

17.Funkytown-This was on another K-Tel album I owned. Everyone in the pool at my cousin's house would vote for the best dance moves down the diving board to this song. Of course, each contestant had to choreograph a cool dive to go with their dance.

18.Y.M.C.A.- We all wanted the Village People to be our boyfriends. My friends and I would fight over them. The construction worker or the Indian...who would it be? But, alas, they didn't want us girls. In fact, they didn't want ANY girls.

19.If I Can't Have You- Yvonne Elliman and I would have been best friends forever if we had ever met. She was the ultimate in cool. When she appeared on my favorite Saturday afternoon show, Soul Train, my face was plastered to the screen.

20.More Than a Woman- After a ballet performance my ballet guild had, the owner of our dance studio gave a champagne reception for the dancers, their families and sponors at the studio. We were disco dancing, mingling, eating and drinking when the prettiest teenage girl from our company walked in. It was one of those moments where all time stands still and the evil green monster called jealousy rears its ugly head. She dropped her white rabbit fur coat to unveil THE most perfect outfit on the planet. She wore a chocolate brown satin jumpsuit and bear trap wedges with brown straps. As she stood there sipping daintily on her cold duck, I felt sick with envy. I've disliked her ever since.

21.Shake Your Booty- KC was another love of mine. Sweaty with his shirt open to his navel...what's not to love?

22.Walk Away- I found out what sex appeal was as this song played. Leave it to Donna Summer. The teenaged boy pulling the curtains at my yearly dance recital was no match for my junior high-rump shaking-hip swaying-head shaking moves in my red sequined costume with a red feather in my long (to my butt) hair. Even though he was a freshman and I was a rising 7th grader, we fell in love and continued to talk over the next 10 years. But more importantly, I discovered my inner diva!

23.'65 Love Affair- I brought my new 45 record to dance class. My teacher not only played my record but she let me lead the warmup exercises in front of the class.

24.Xanadu- Olivia, Darling, only you can make junior high girls dream of silver and gold lame' headbands, spandex pants and roller skates.

25.Another One Bites the Dust- Those were the days of high school age bus drivers. Mine was a heartthrob. He sent chills down my spine. He brought his boombox with him set to the favorite radio station of the day and this song played early one morning when I thought I caught his attention in my new outfit. I strutted my sixth grade self  down that paper strewn aisle in my new gaucho pants and knee boots. He was too old for me, but I didn't care. He checked me out and that was enough.