I Was A Charlie's Angel

We made our high-rise apartments
From trees and areas
Lined with rocks.
In our minds they were
Made of glass and chrome
The rage of the 70's.

I was always Kelly
With the long, dark hair
Making fingernails out of
Mama's Scotch tape
Because I bit my own.

My cousins and I
Fought every criminal
From coast to coast
Without ever breaking a nail
Or messing up our feathered hair.

I realize now that this time
In my young life
Helped me become the strong
And independent woman I am
Who relies on myself.

For My Favorite Daffodil

For my baby sister, Daf
Who believed in me,
Even when I was not yet old enough to believe in myself.
From the Pal's Playhouse,
To the wagon that was supposed to carry blocks.
She looked at me
With loving eyes.

For my younger sister, Daf
Who protected me,
Even though I was the older one.
From the mouse,
To Mama's wrath and Daddy's hand.
She cried when
I was spanked.

For my adolescent sister, Daf
Who doctored my wounds and seemed to understand
Even though I really didn't.
The pain of a first love,
And the emptiness that is left.
She crawled in my single bed beside me,
And held my hand while I cried.

For my teenage sister, Daf
Who told me the truth about myself,
Even when the truth was ugly.
From the night Daddy was out looking for me,
To telling me the hard facts about my boyfriend.
Her disappointment in me
Hurt more than the punishment.
She changed me for the better.

For my adult sister, Daf
Who stands beside me through good and bad,
From the funeral to the weddings,
To the births and everything in between.
Even when our hearts burst with emotion,
She calms me,
And I know I am not alone.

February 2004



There aren't many certain things in life. (Believe me, I've learned this the hard way.) But one thing I am definitely certain of is the relationship I have with my sister, Daphne or Daf as I call her. I'm not a betting woman as far as life goes as I mentioned above, but I would be willing to wager our relationship against any other sister pair in the world. We are that close. I am also being totally honest when I say that I would give her a kidney, stand between her and an ax murderer, give her the best piece of fried chicken on the platter...the pulley bone (I used to.), do her chores (Did that, too.), walk ten miles in the snow barefooted if she needed medicine, etc. Get my drift?

We are very different yet we're exactly the same. Doesn't make sense, huh? But to family and friends, this statement makes perfect sense. I worry, plan, organize and agonize over every decision. She never worries, flies by the seat of her pants and takes life as it comes. She inspires me to let go and I inspire her to care about details. We both love art, dance, music, family, friends, shopping, laughing, talking, reading and being together. We hate small-minded people, unnecessary drama, a good deal with no money to spend, bad haircuts, liars, and a messy house. She is a natural athlete (played Little League before girls were really allowed) while I can't catch, throw or hit a ball. I ride my bike everywhere and she is like a duck out of water on one. We both sing, dance and play the piano but music turned out to be her true talent as dance became mine. Neither one of us EVER meets a stranger and did I mention we are LOUD? We both laugh and talk with our entire bodies. No lack of drama here nor do we lack a list of topics to cover. People usually stop and stare if we happen to be in public because normally we are laughing so hard the tears are flowing. We are a spectacle...albeit a fun one! What in this world would I do without her? Answer: I wouldn't be me.

There is no possible way to share the millions of memories we have made over the years, but I plan to try and hit the highlights on this blog...not all at once. (She is one of the reasons I started it in the first place.) To name a few without going into too much detail, there is the time she drove the lawnmower up a tree with me on the back, a coveted sweatshirt and my big toe, a certain incident involving a boy, my dad and a large stick, an exciting visit to my college where at 14 she entered a nightclub...the list goes on and on. Whether the memories are good or bad isn't the point. The point is we shared them together and we still do.

My mom sat me down at the age of 3 1/2 to explain what it meant to have a little sister. She said that the baby she carried would be MY baby to love and watch over. I took her words to heart. Daf has always been mine. I have loved and watched over her for the past 38 years. Until I breathe my last breath, I will continue to do so and will look forward to our next adventures.

I love you, Nettie!

OXOX, Celie

For Susan

She wandered around with one shoe off
And one shoe on.
Confused, hurt and scared
From her world having been turned
Upside down.
She was crippled and bent over
Walking through life with a limp
And a broken heart.

Until she met you
Who lifted her up by putting
Your arm around her shoulders.
Teaching her to walk differently
There with you she felt safe and warm
With the sun shining on her face.
She was healing and growing.

Then the day came when
She became strong enough
To leave that old shoe behind.
Kicking it off and running at life
With outstretched arms.
It was time for goodbye
For you had taught her well
And she was free.

Melanie Hamilton
January 2008





I wrote this for a woman who helped me through a rough patch. She encouraged me to uncover the many layers of myself to find my true essence again. It was like putting a scattered puzzle back together piece by piece. Separately some pieces were lovely while other pieces were not, but each was important to the whole. When it was all said and done, the puzzle formed a picture...my life's picture.

How do you thank someone who saves your life? I wish I knew. Words on paper don't seem like enough, but it is what I had...along with my tears of gratitude.

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.
That saved a wretch, like me.
I once was lost but now I'm found.
Was blind but now I see.

John Newton


In May 1996, my mom passed away. Her body could no longer sustain her in this life so her soul escaped to a new life in Heaven. My sister, father and I were left with a gaping hole in our hearts...a void so large, it was hard to breathe, much less plan a wedding. Which was exactly what we were doing when the doctors told us there was no hope of her getting well. After her death, life marched on. The sun kept rising and setting. The world continued to turn, but I was lost.

During the five month stretch to my wedding in October, "change" should have been my middle name. I grieved the loss of my mother. I moved to Charleston away from my family. I accepted a new teaching job. I started a new life with John. Whew!  To make matters worse, I recieved word from home about Daddy. He was also lost and needed me.

Because of this, John and I decided a few weeks before the wedding to move back home. So I resigned from my job, packed up my apartment, and finalized the details of my "big" day. I have NEVER felt more alone.

The Thursday before the wedding, John and I loaded everything we owned into a U-Haul. He needed to run a few errands so we decided to meet in Summerville for lunch before heading down the interstate. As I pulled out of the apartment complex with fresh tears streaming down my face, I realized I wouldn't have another time to buy wrapping paper for my bridesmaids' gifts. What a trivial thing to think of in the midst of a life-altering moment!

Party City happened to be across the street so I pulled in. After deciding on the paper and ribbon, I made my way to the checkout. Standing there waiting for the long line of people ahead of me to make their purchases, I thought about how I looked and felt like a homeless person instead of the glowing bride I was supposed to be. I just wanted it all to be over. I was excited to be marrying John because he was my true love and soulmate, but I was NOT excited about facing the day without my mom.

As my mind jumped back to the present moment, I realized I was the only customer left in the front of the store. The cashier scanned my items and asked how I was doing. I replied, "I'm fine." But in my mind, I was thinking..."I am so lost." She looked me directly in the eyes and said, "You're getting married, aren't you?" Believe me, my baseball cap, sweatshirt and jeans weren't giving her any clues. I stammered, "Yes, I am." She said, "God told me you were." Having said that, she walked around the cash register and grabbed me. While giving me a huge hug, she whispered, "He said you needed this. He also told me to tell you everything is going to be all right. He told me to tell you she is all right."

I was lost but in that moment, I was found.

From those precious seconds with God's messenger, I found peace. From the kisses of a butterfly after the ceremony, I saw a sign of God's presence. My eyes were opened and I would never be the same.

God's grace is amazing, especially to a sinner like me. I have been lost and I have been blind, but what matters most is He found me and now I see.

Silent Reflection

Butterfly, you always appear...
Not a coincidence but
A sign.
A sign of God's presence.
Reminding me that I'm not
Alone.
But a part of a greater whole
Soulfully connected
Like the delicate pattern of
Your intricate wings.

Melanie Hamilton

Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour #10

My Life as a Playlist (The Early Years-Junior High)

Music is a huge part of who I am. It is totally just as necessary to my well-being as food to eat and air to breathe. I am physically and emotionally affected by it. If Earth, Wind & Fire is playing, my friends and family will tell you, my body is NOT still. Upon hearing an old favorite unexpectedly while driving, I have been known to pull over, beat on the steering wheel and sing at the top of my lungs. Old boyfriends may tell that I would get smoke-coming-out-of-the-ears mad if they turned down the radio to say something if an awesome song was on...

"Compliment what she does. Send her roses, just because. If it's violins she loves, let them play. Dedicate her favorite song and hold her closer, all night long. Love her today. Find one hundred ways."

Ohhh, James (Ingram), you had it going on. Whatever that poor boyfriend had to say was NOT as important as what Mr. James Ingram was trying to tell him. Shut up and listen! It may come in handy.

Anyway, music is a religious experience for me. Picture hands in the air with my head going back and forth....eyes closed...tears streaming down depending on the song. I LOVE music! When I hear a song from my past, a video plays in my mind of a specific memory complete with what I was wearing, whom I was with, where we were and what we were doing. The images are vivid and colorful. From the memory I usually can figure out the year the song was out. Dateline NBC had an ongoing clip they used as a filler for the program where they played a song and the viewers were supposed to guess the year it was popular. My husband was amazed at how I guessed correctly every time.

Song lyrics are no different. I may forget the milk on my grocery list of three items, but I won't forget any words to "Double Dutch Bus" even the gibberish at the end. Only true lovers of this song will know what I'm talking about. Enough about that...

I've always wanted to write a book about my life, a memoir, I guess, using a playlist as the format. I would use the music to tell stories from my past and present...little snippets...not too long and not too short. The only problem is editing the list of music because it goes on and on. For this blog, I thought I would narrow down the choices to 25 songs per playlist and combine the years of my life into sections. I hope you enjoy!


1. Listen to What the Man Said                                           Paul McCartney/Wings
2. I Got You Babe                                                                   Sonny and Cher
3. Afternoon Delight                                                             Starland Vocal Band
4. If                                                                                            Bread
5. Knock Three Times                                                          Tony Orlando and Dawn
6. Escape (Pina Colada Song)                                            Rupert Holmes
7. Shine a Little Love                                                           Electric Light Orchestra
8. Dream Weaver                                                                   Gary Wright
9. Don't Go Breaking My Heart                                        Elton John/Kiki Dee
10.Magic                                                                                 Pilot
11.Biggest Part of Me                                                          Ambrosia
12.Same Old Lang Syne                                                     Dan Fogelberg
13.The Hustle                                                                      Van McCoy
14.Mr. Jaws                                                                           Dick Goodman
15.Ain't Gonna Bump No More No Big Fat Woman        Joe Tex
16.You Should Be Dancing                                                 Bee Gees
17.Funkytown                                                                      Lipps, Inc.
18.Y.M.C.A.                                                                         Village People
19.If I Can't Have You                                                       Yvonne Elliman
20.More Than a Woman                                                    Tavares
21.Shake Your Booty                                                         K.C. and the Sunshine Band
22.Walk Away                                                                     Donna Summer
23.'65 Love Affair                                                               Paul Davis
24.Xanadu                                                                            Olivia Newton-John
25.Another One Bites the Dust                                        Queen

1.Listen to What the Man Says- My mom, my sister and I are in the car with the windows rolled down. (yes, I said rolled because that's what you had to do.) It is the middle of summer and we're driving to my grandparent's lake house in the next town over to spend a glorious week. We are loaded down with provisions...baloney, Wonderbread, hoop cheese (sliced), peanut butter, grape jelly, hot dogs, hot dog buns, Coke in glass bottles, Coppertone Suntan Lotion and a bar of Ivory soap (because it floats and we bathed in the lake).

2. I Got You Babe- One of my favorite television shows to watch on one of the four channels we could get was The Sonny and Cher Show.. Sonny at the piano and Cher in a low-cut halter gown by his side! I dreamed of having her long hair and dragon-lady fingernails. My hair was chopped off in a Dorothy Hamil cut, layer after layer of one inch sections. I vowed to never let my mother talk me into a short haircut again! And to show how serious I was, I watched The Sonny and Cher show every week with a towel on my head to represent my future long, flowing locks and Scotch tape on my bitten fingernails.

3.Afternoon Delight- This song was playing when we drove our brand new, orange Volkswagon Bug through the showroom sliding doors and out into the world! I was in the "hole" behind the backseat where I gazed out the window in awe. In my mind at six years old, we had to be rich!

4.If- My awesome dance teacher, being the true hippie she was, played this song during our summer ballet lessons. Doing our barre work to Bread made these exercises seem more important and dramatic. I'm sure I shed a few tears.

5.Knock Three Times- Do any of you remember The Tony Orlando and Dawn Show? My dream was to sing backup with Dawn (two women) in a chiffon dress with big hair.

6.Escape (The Pina Colada Song)- For Christmas I received the K-Tel album featuring all the Number 1's from that year. I would snuggle down in my orange beanbag, don my massive headphones and listen to this song on my stereo, all the while thinking about "making love at midnight on the dunes of the Cape." Scandalous!

7.Shine a Little Love- My piano teacher had an entire bookshelf in her house dedicated to her eight track tape collection. I would stand in front of this shelf before and after my lesson drooling. I thought I was hallucinating the day she said, "You can borrow any of those you want. Just bring them back next week." The clouds parted, the angels wept...was she serious? Bring the smelling salts! With a shaking hand, I selected All Over the World  by Electric Light Orchestra. The picture on the front was a U.F.O. looking-spherical object with jukebox details. I ran to my house before she could change her mind. That tape never left my yellow player for a week.

8.Dream Weaver- Back in the 70's we rarely turned on our air-conditioner. Every window in the house was up and the wooden doors wide open. Being in the buggy South, we had screened doors and windows. Our favorite thing to do on a summer night as a family was go out on our side porch and swing. Our porch swing could easily fit the entire clan. We would sit in the darkness with the stereo playing. I remember when this song was played for the first time on the radio because I was looking at the stars and listening to the cool, outer space sound effects in the song. It made me wonder about aliens on another planet doing the same thing as I was doing.

9.Don't Go Breaking My Heart- Who can forget the TV show "One Day at a Time" starring MacKenzie Phillips and Valerie Bertinelli? Barbara and Julie, their characters on the show, lipsynced this song complete with feather boa, white piano and jeweled sunglasses. I knew I would never be the same.

10. Magic- During our yearly family trip to Myrtle Beach, a night at the amusement park was in order. "Do you wanna go faster?" blared over the loud speaker as the Himalaya rattled around the track at speeds of 100 miles per hour. The good-looking teenage boys working the ride would jump on and off the individual cars as we, my cousins and I, screamed with delight.

11.Biggest Part of Me- I see my mother painting a pair of my denim bellbottoms and a t-shirt to match. The stereo, of course, was playing in the background. She asked what I wanted on them besides flowers. I said, "red mushrooms with white polka-dots." And that's just what I got!

12.Same Old Lang Syne- I wanted to marry Dan Fogelberg. His hair made perfect wings on each side of his middle part. I shed a tear for his old lover in the grocery store, but I was secretly happy because without her, he could be mine.

13.The Hustle- My parents took disco lessons. Yes, you read it right. I have to say they rocked it, too. For my birthday slumber party, my parents entertained my crew of best friends. The light-up disco ball was spinning and the music was pumping as my mom and dad twirled around the den. The "oohs" and "aahs" of my friends filled my heart with pride. After their glowing number, they taught us the Hustle and we all joined in.

14.Mr. Jaws- I got this 45 record in my Easter basket. We recorded it on my tape player by playing the record and taping it live. All people and pets were threatened with a horrible death if  they uttered a sound while recording. This made our favorite song of the moment portable. Mr. Jaws inspired my cousins and I to make our own mixes of song clips and interview questions.

15.Ain't Gonna Bump No More No Big Fat Woman- I literally had black and blue bruises on both my hip bones from doing the bump. Unlike now, I was skin and bones. To make matters worse, many of my dance partners (cousins, mom, sister, friends) were also skinny as rails. When our hip would collide during this epic dance move, the end result was injured body parts. No pain, no gain!

16.You Should Be Dancing- John Travolta...white leisure suit...need I say more? I wasn't allowed to see the movie, but you can bet your sweet booty, I had the album. By the end of the Saturday Night Fever craze, it was scratched and the cover was in shreds.

17.Funkytown-This was on another K-Tel album I owned. Everyone in the pool at my cousin's house would vote for the best dance moves down the diving board to this song. Of course, each contestant had to choreograph a cool dive to go with their dance.

18.Y.M.C.A.- We all wanted the Village People to be our boyfriends. My friends and I would fight over them. The construction worker or the Indian...who would it be? But, alas, they didn't want us girls. In fact, they didn't want ANY girls.

19.If I Can't Have You- Yvonne Elliman and I would have been best friends forever if we had ever met. She was the ultimate in cool. When she appeared on my favorite Saturday afternoon show, Soul Train, my face was plastered to the screen.

20.More Than a Woman- After a ballet performance my ballet guild had, the owner of our dance studio gave a champagne reception for the dancers, their families and sponors at the studio. We were disco dancing, mingling, eating and drinking when the prettiest teenage girl from our company walked in. It was one of those moments where all time stands still and the evil green monster called jealousy rears its ugly head. She dropped her white rabbit fur coat to unveil THE most perfect outfit on the planet. She wore a chocolate brown satin jumpsuit and bear trap wedges with brown straps. As she stood there sipping daintily on her cold duck, I felt sick with envy. I've disliked her ever since.

21.Shake Your Booty- KC was another love of mine. Sweaty with his shirt open to his navel...what's not to love?

22.Walk Away- I found out what sex appeal was as this song played. Leave it to Donna Summer. The teenaged boy pulling the curtains at my yearly dance recital was no match for my junior high-rump shaking-hip swaying-head shaking moves in my red sequined costume with a red feather in my long (to my butt) hair. Even though he was a freshman and I was a rising 7th grader, we fell in love and continued to talk over the next 10 years. But more importantly, I discovered my inner diva!

23.'65 Love Affair- I brought my new 45 record to dance class. My teacher not only played my record but she let me lead the warmup exercises in front of the class.

24.Xanadu- Olivia, Darling, only you can make junior high girls dream of silver and gold lame' headbands, spandex pants and roller skates.

25.Another One Bites the Dust- Those were the days of high school age bus drivers. Mine was a heartthrob. He sent chills down my spine. He brought his boombox with him set to the favorite radio station of the day and this song played early one morning when I thought I caught his attention in my new outfit. I strutted my sixth grade self  down that paper strewn aisle in my new gaucho pants and knee boots. He was too old for me, but I didn't care. He checked me out and that was enough.

Snow Days/Warm Memories/Yummy Recipes

Last October when we were days away from selling the house we thought would be our "forever home," Miller, my son, came to me in a panic. With a look of terror, he said, "Mom, we can't sell Butterfly Lane. We NEED to be able to go there when it snows!" Living in the Lowcountry, we don't often get those magical snow days we did once a year in the Midlands. It's funny how kids internalize change and what's important. Of course, "the white stuff" is the greatest...snow angels, snowball fights, redneck sledding (anything flat that can serve as a sled), snow cream, etc. But the best thing about snow or even the possibilities of it, is the ultimate shut-down of the regular routine and the true quality time spent with family and friends. We INVENT things to do together. For the snow days in my past have been days usually WITHOUT power. In the South we're lucky to get this one or two day reprieve from work and school. Miller was definitely on to something when he used the word "need."

We don't have snow...yet...but there's always hope. We do, however, have an icy mix of rain and sleet which has resulted in a day off from school. On Facebook I've enjoyed looking at photos of the "blizzard" that has taken my hometown during the night. Ahhh, the memories...

*the total silence of the woods when I stopped to listen
*wet gloves, hats, scarves, etc. draped around our fireplace to dry
*a warm wood stove and a raised hearth where my sister and I would perch like two little birds
*hot chocolate with mini marshmallows, grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup
*our neighbor pulling us behind his four-wheeler
*sledding down the hill with the entire town at the elementary school
*making snowmen and snow angels
*putting out birdseed for the birds and squirrels
*bringing our pets inside which was thrilling because when I was young, all animals lived outside
*closing off parts of our home to keep other areas warmer
*playing cards and board games by candlelight
*my mom adding blankets and quilts to our beds
*sleeping under those heavy layers and not being able to move
*shaking limbs of a tree to sabotage an unsuspecting "victim" with an avalanche of snow
*taking the aluminum mixing bowl outside to fill with "clean" snow
*watching my dad make snow cream
*homemade vegetable soup or chili with cornbread

And after I was married with a family...

*waiting for the call list to reach me to inform me I didn't have to teach school
*bundling up my toddler until he looked like a mini Michelin Man
*sitting in the window-filled stairwell of my house while watching huge flakes fall and feeling like I was in some enchanted cathedral
*praying for the power to stay on because it was imperative I have a hot bath and a pot of coffee
*making my husband venture out to "find" a cup of coffee when we had no electricity
*the year of the generator...pure bliss...stove, coffee maker and tv
*turning on the gas logs
*taking soup to a sick neighbor on the John Deere Gator
*calling SCE&G to report a power outtage
*playing Scrabble with my husband and "Go Fish" with my son
*watching movies...Disney, Forrest Gump, The Shining, Pretty Woman, etc.
*checking in with my dad and my sister
*the three of us snuggled up in one bed

Now for the recipes...

Snow Day Chili

1 1/2- 2 pounds lean ground beef
1 large green bell pepper, chopped fine
1 large onion, chopped fine
4 cans chili beans (I mix 2 cans mild with 2 cans hot)
1 large can or container tomato juice
chili powder to taste
garlic powder to taste
salt/pepper
a tablespoon of sugar

Brown meat in a large Dutch oven. When meat is almost browned, drain.  Add bell pepper and onion. Cook until onion is almost translucent. Add chili beans and tomato juice. Also take a chili bean can and fill with water twice to add to mixture. Season with chili powder, garlic powder, salt/pepper and sugar. (I usually add a ton of chili powder. If I had to guess how much, I would say 3 tablespoons...maybe.) Turn down heat to medium low and let chili simmer for an hour or so.
I love to serve this with grated cheddar cheese, a dollop of sour cream and cornbread muffins. Crushed Fritos and some diced jalapenos are also awesome.

Snow Cream

a bowl of clean snow
vanilla extract
white sugar
milk/cream

In a large bowl mix snow with two tablespoons of vanilla extract, a half cup sugar and a cup of milk or cream. The consistency should be like a slushie so mix and taste as you go. These are approximate measurements.

Enjoy the day with your loved ones!

Higher, Daddy!

A wooden, rope swing holding two little girls, side-by-side,
You were our father, our larger-than-life hero and someone on whom we relied.
I picture that enormous, storybook tree and the magical, dappled shade,
Combined with the soft breeze blowing our hair is an image in my mind that will never fade.
We weren't satisfied with just skimming the ground and observing the branches of the trees.
We wanted to touch the sky with outstretched legs and our bare feet, please.
"Higher, Daddy!" we'd scream at the top of our lungs with pure joy and delight.
And with this you'd pull that swing back like a rubber band and push with all your might.
With total trust and adoration we sailed over you in wonder,
For you added an element of suprise by choosing the flying swing to run right under.

I remember at that moment realizing what it meant to be happy from the fullness in my chest.
Arms wrapped around my younger sister while gazing at the man I loved the best.
As high and fast as we would go, I always knew you'd be right there.
A security not within your hand's grasp but one I saw in your protective stare.
I guess that's what has given me the strength to soar above the trees in my adult years.
To live out my hopes and dreams without crippling doubts and fears.
Even though you're not watching anymore, you did when it mattered so much.
Your love for me then sustains me now instead of your presence and your touch.

Melanie Hamilton
October 2010

Things That Made Me Smile Today

1.  A public shoutout on Facebook from my hip-hop teacher. She thanked me for keeping it real during her class the night before. LOVE HER!

2.  Seeing, talking and jogging with my runnning partner before the sun was up. I haven't seen her since December 17th so we had a lot of catching up to do.

3.  Smelling and kissing my son's cheek to wake him up for school. It is definitely my favorite smell in the world. My heart skips a beat every morning.

4.  A cup of hot coffee with vanilla creamer. I love my family but coffee alone makes me rise out of bed.

5.  A hot bath with lavendar epsom salts to relieve my sore muscles from running and hip-hop.

6.  A trip to my hairdresser and friend, Terri. There is nothing like good conversation, a new magazine while I'm under the dryer and a professional blowout.

7.  Menchie's Frozen Yogurt...a mixture of caramel and coffee yogurt with granola, walnuts, yogurt chips and fresh strawberries. YUM!

8.  Striking many things off my "to do" list. So satisfying!

9.  Being able to greet my son as he walks in the door from school and hearing about his day. I don't take this for granted because only a few years ago I worked full time as a teacher where everyone else's child received the best of me and my own child got the leftovers.

10. Finding a credit card on the ground outside a local store and tracking down the owner.

11.  Taking my dog to the local pet store where I gave him a bath with awesome products, a raised shower stall and a blow dryer. I didn't kill my back and I didn't have to scour my bathroom afterwards. Side note:  Finn, my chocolate Lab, lifted his leg which resulted in a yellow puddle on the floor and a yellow spray on the owner's sofa. Whoops!

12.  A cold Corona Light with a juicy lime. Enough said!

13.  A message on Facebook from a friend I haven't seen in 18 years. When I read his message, I realized he was still the same funny, sweet, rowdy person he used to be.

14.  Slipping into my cozy Boyfriend Pants (Victoria's Secret) and bedroom slippers on this dreary, cold day.

15. Writing a post on my blog. This is addictive!!!!!

(Another list...Red would love this.)

The Power of Listing/My 2011 List

My mother wrote lists for EVERYTHING...grocery shopping, packing for vacations, etc. but her favorite lists were written on small, yellow sticky notes for my sister and me. During holiday breaks or summer vacations, we received a list EVERY DAY. When my eyes opened to greet the sun and the new day, my first thought wasn't of the endlesss possibilities I had in creating the next 24 hours. I immediately thought about "the list." I knew it was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs...stuck to the flat-topped post. What, do you ask, was on this lovely list? CHORES, Honey! Our mother, Red, didn't need a maid as she often told friends and family. She already had two AND they worked basically for free!!! We scrubbed, swept, dusted, mopped, washed and folded. We grocery shopped and ran her errands. There was also usually a bushel basket of some vegetable from our garden in need of  snapping or shelling. Daphne or Daf, my sister, and I knew the drill. If you didn't finish the chores on the list, you didn't go out and socialize. At the end of the week when every possible household chore was completed, Red would still leave "the list"  full of tasks such as relax, enjoy your day or watch a movie. She simply COULD NOT go without writing something for us to do. Infuriating!

 Being the Type A personality that I am, my chores were completed before noon. Daf, on the other hand, waited until 5:30 pm to start her chores as our mother arrived home from work at 6:00 sharp. Guess who helped her every afternoon finish her tasks? Dumb, gullible me! Like leading a lamb to the slaughter! I worked to save her from the fiery flames lapping at her feet! What makes this whole thing more comical is that I did this for her on a DAILY basis. If anything, I guess, this showed my utter adoration and devotion for her.

"The List" was something I loathed. It was the bane of my existence. Daf and I expressed this loathing to our mother. She laughed and spewed the proverbial words..."It's good for you. It builds character." Needless to say, there was much eye rolling and teeth sucking from the peanut gallery when she would say this.

Funny thing is...she was right! It DID, in deed, build character, discipline, organization and good cleaning habits. What hurts the most is I can't tell her and experience the look of satisfaction in her eyes. Believe me, I've spoken with her about this in spirit but it isn't the same. I also need to clear my conscience and admit to being a list maker to the Nth degree. :) Scary, I know! At any given time I have two or three lists going. There are personal goals/dreams for the future in my journal and grocery lists in my pocketbook. I have a binder dedicated especially for Christmas where I list-write to my heart's content....gifts, recipes, master grocery list for the holidays, activities and schedules. A dream come true! There is power in the written word and the plan of an organized list! Mama would be so proud!

And now for my first list of the new year...

My Wishes/Plans for 2011

1.  I plan to live "in the moment" more. I need to stop obsessing about how many things I have to accomplish in a day and enjoy those tiny precious moments that make a life. For example, when my 12 year old wants to take a bike ride or play a game together on the Wii, I need to say..."I would love to" instead of "Not now. I'm busy." When my husband walks in from work and tries to kiss me while I am cooking (picture hands covered in raw chicken juice), I need to wash them quickly, look him in the eyes and PLANT A BIG SMOOCH on him.

2.  I plan to make healthy living a top priority.  I basically do this already by exercising pretty consistently and trying to eat right. My desire is to take these good habits to the next level which means I need to run, hip-hop, lift weights, walk my dog, eat real food MORE and procrastinate, eat junk, make excuses LESS.

3.  I plan to learn something new as often as I can. I am interested in so many things. I need to dedicate time and effort into making this happen. For example, I love to cook. It would be fun to learn how to cook something I've yet  to try or master a basic cooking technique or skill. I can picture myself now chopping an onion like Giada does on Food Network.

4.  I wish for a real home base for our family...a home of our own on this wonderful island we live on. With the economy the way it has been and our circumstances, we haven't been able to make it happen yet...but I'm hopeful.

5.  I wish to do something kind and positive for others EVERY day. I plan to use my gifts of the spirit to do it...writing a note, sharing a smile, saying kind words. Since I am not currently teaching school, I feel like I don't LIVE these gifts enough.

6.  I wish to make a decision about graduate school or my career path. For the past few years, I have been indecisive about what I want to do with my life. I totally love staying-at-home and taking care of my family, but I feel like I could do this and work part-time outside the home. I just don't know WHAT I should do.

7.  I plan to continue my daily time with God through prayer, devotions and Bible reading. I am also excited about continuing the Bible Study I joined in the fall at the church we attend. Starting my day with Him has been the best thing I've ever done. When my alarm goes off at 5:30, I actually spring out of bed. I love the quiet peacefulness where I can get my heart and mind focused on the Father and His will for my life.

8.  I plan to stop cursing. It is a BAD habit. There is nothing more to say.

9.  I wish for more quality time with my husband. Maybe we can find a hobby we can do together or plan a date night once a month. We aren't lacking by any stretch in this area but we can do better.

10. I plan to do less for my son. Don't take this statement the wrong way! Sometimes I feel I don't give my son enough responsibility. He has daily chores but he could do more. Since I stay at home, I have a tendency to do things for him that he should be doing for himself. 

First Day of the New Year...First Blog

"If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies."

This is one of my absolute favorite quotes EVER! To start this blog, I need to first, start at the beginning. It will explain who I am and how I got here and yes, it has everything to do with my beautiful little quote above.

Fourteen and a half years ago my beloved mama passed away. She was a larger-than-life character, a fiery spirit, a true presence...my best friend and my biggest fan. At the time of her death I was planning my wedding to John, my true love and soulmate. Needless to say,  my heart was broken into a million pieces. A part of me died with her on that day in May, but from this incredible loss, God gave many blessings and signs. But now I am getting ahead of myself.

To honor her on my BIG day I released monarch butterflies outside in front of the church at the end of the ceremony. My pastor talked about the butterfly being a symbol of eternal life and about my mom, Red as she was called for her auburn hair and firecracker personality. All of those beautiful creatures fluttered away in every direction except ONE. That special creature landed right on my dress which just happened to be over my heart. I plucked it up and away ever so gently  and watched in amazement as it flew in an arc and landed in exactly the same spot as it had seconds before. A coincidence? I think not! The second time I repeated this action I felt certain of the outcome, but no, I was wrong.  My new friend obviously wasn't ready to leave just yet...a life lesson even then...everything in its own time...God's time...not mine. John and I cried. Our friends and family cried. God had shown His grace and given us a monumental sign. Red was there with us. I knew she would be.

I touched those feathery wings for the third time, gave it a quick kiss and helped it on its journey towards the heavens. Just as the sun was fading, I watched it fly away. Once again, my life was changed forever. My broken and wounded heart received a few stitches from God.

Countless times butterflies have visited me since that day so long ago. I plan to use this blog to share those stories. I also want this blog to be a tiny spot in the universe where I can share the things I LOVE...stories about family and friends, music, recipes, poetry,  dance, books, art, ideas, etc. A space TO BE ME!!!!!

Ahhhhhhh, the possibilities!!!!!!

Love, Mel